


We're not just friends

by Lettmar



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst and Romance, Dark, F/F, Gay, Heavy Angst, Hosie, Mild Smut, Romance, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:48:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26065273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lettmar/pseuds/Lettmar
Summary: So she does something potentially stupid: She closes the distance between them, pressing her nicotine-stained lips to Hope's liquor stained ones.Or: Hope is there to help Josie cope with the aftermath of dark Josie
Relationships: Hope Mikaelson/Josie Saltzman
Comments: 18
Kudos: 125





	We're not just friends

**Author's Note:**

> TW: suicidal thoughts (just a little)!  
> I'm sorry for any grammar error and all  
> enjoy ;D  
> (I may have listened to folklore over and over again and this came out)

The roof is quiet and peaceful, the only sounds coming from the wind rattling through the trees. At this late hour, it was illuminated only by the moon. Exactly what Josie Satzman needs because her mind is working like it never did before. Trying to get a grasp on everything that happened while she was being possessed by a bitchier and meaner version of herself 

It's a cold night, but the recently lit cigarette between her small fingers keeps it at bay, burning slowly and painfully

A bottle of whiskey stays untouched at her side. It was silently stolen from her dad's office and it's only half full. The yellowish liquid stands still and calls her name, but she doesn't open

There's a quote from Stephen King that she read once: "There's something in us that is very much attracted to madness. Everyone who looks off the edge of a tall building has felt at least a faint, morbid urge to jump". Josie understands that quote. Her legs keep twitching like they're begging her to just let go, see what would happen if she just jumped. Madness, or better yet: Darkness; always allured her, be it a simple fire spell or a flick of her hand that snapped a classmate's neck. 

She urges those thoughts away

"I didn't know you smoked" 

Josie didn't need to turn around to know who the voice belongs to. She knows it pretty well. Sweet and small, most times surrounded by sarcasm, bite, and the periodic worry. Most times she would find the girl's voice soothing, and occasionally - after a few drinks - even sexy, but not today 

So she doesn't look behind. Keeps her eyes trained in the ground beneath. On the edge of the roof with legs dangling in the air, feeling gravity pulling her down in a comforting yet frightening way at the same time

"Bad habit," she says and takes another drag, Hope just stays silent "caught it from..."

A few seconds pass and she doesn't finish the sentence. She really doesn't want to start reminiscing about her ex. About how she smoked her first cigarette with her in this same roof, holding each other and with giant smiles. It had become their spot. How, a few weeks later Josie would be smoking her first joint, reluctantly, next to a beaming Penelope with a stupid high smile. How after that they stumbled back to the raven-haired girl's bedroom and fucked for the rest of the night. She definitely doesn't want to think about that. Or about how her dark self spoke a truth that dug so deep it still hurt, days later: She was a girl Penelope wouldn't fight for anymore. Maybe no one would 

"Penelope?" Hope tries and Josie can feel the girl getting closer to the where she is 

She nods and closes her eyes. Maybe if she wishes really hard everything will disappear, and she would be back 2 months ago where everything was lighter and sunny and good

But the cold wind hitting her checks brings her back. Everything is dark and bitter and awful 

"How'd you knew I was here?"

"I actually didn't, looked for you literally everywhere until I remembered this place" Hope's voice is careful and controlled like she is trying her best not to scare her 

And Josie hates it. She hates the fact that now she's become this person, this fragile empty shell that no one knows how to handle 

Hates it. These days she hates a lot of things 

"It's quiet, away for prying eyes and fucking whispers," She says in a hard and angry voice 

If Hope is surprised by her cursing, she doesn't say anything. Maybe she wishes she did. Wishes the girl would grab her by her shoulders, shake her and scream as loud as she can, scold her and tell her that this isn't her. It can't be her 

But instead, she just sits beside her. Josie can feel the warmth that radiates from her and gets slightly closer to the girl. Feels good. Comforting

Josie sheepishly looks at the girl. Hope is using a green sweater and jeans. Her eyes are closed, taking in the clear air, but Josie can still see the purple bags under them. Her shoulders are hunched without the usual grace in them. She looks as Josie feels, beaten up, but restless. Scratch that, Josie probably looks as she feels, too

Everyone knows the reason Hope Mikaelson is looking a little less than flawless these days: Landon left; Again. This time he said he needed some time or whatever. Josie is so done with all this shit.

She should say something, right? About how sorry she is? That's what a good friend would do. But in all honesty, she doesn't give a fuck about Landon leaving. She's tired of saying sorry, has spent the past days mumbling her apologies to almost every student. Josie decides to focus on anger instead of sorrow 

A wave of irritation hits her hard. At Landon for leaving Hope yet again. Anger at the world for insisting on hurting someone so beautiful and non-deserving as the girl next to her 

So she doesn't say anything, only takes the bottle and shoves to the girl, lifting her right hand to her lips again. The cigarette is almost over 

Hope looks surprised but takes the bottle anyway. She glances at it for a while, like she is deciding what to do, and Josie thinks she should think at least twice before drinking it, it tastes awful. While the girl is still analyzing her next move, Josie is debating whether to pick another cigarette. She didn't think she would keep the habit after the breakup, but she did. Every time her thoughts got too loud she would go up there and light one. Inhaling the smoke was kind of therapeutic for her, the nicotine lowering her pressure for a couple of minutes, clouding her vision, and blackening her insides. She takes the last drag and extinguishes the cigarette on the concrete, hiding the butt between the cracks on in

It was almost comical, how much darkness the cigarette left, very different from the one that possessed her. A little less deadly

"Don't mind them, Josie, I used to receive the same looks" She speaks with a sad smile "It goes away 

She remembers. After Hope came back from her disastrous adventure in New Orleans everyone knew she was a Mikaelson. She came back like half the girl she was when she left: even more closed off and colder; like something died inside of her. Josie already liked her, but she just became more intrigued by her after that, she started to see the giant darkness that surrounded Hope

Saw the danger, the mystery, the power that came from her. Hope still bore all of those. And sometimes Josie could see it, in the devilish glint in her eyes that looked like the ones she saw in Klaus Mikaelson's pictures, her ruthlessness when someone she loved was in danger, and her unmistaken predisposition for violence that she tried to hide so hard 

Josie saw it. Had seen everything about her 

"And now you're everybody's favorite hero," she declares mockingly "must feel good"

Hope laughs bitterly and opens the bottle, twisting the cap with more force than necessary, and takes it closer to her lips "It really doesn't" 

From inside the pocket of her hoodie, Josie takes out the smashed pack of cigarettes and picks another. There's only a few left. They were Penelope's, she found them when she was getting rid of all her ex's leftovers. Her favorite mint-flavored, and kind of expensive ones. Josie couldn't let them go to waste 

"Why?" she asks with the cigarette between her lips

The girl next to her sighs, trying to find the right words, and Josie's damn lighter doesn't want to function. She feels tears starting to build up in her eyes, because it isn't working and her thumb is starting to hurt, the wind is making her shiver, her chest feels heavy and she feels like jumping to her possible death. Goddamn, nothing seems to work for her these days 

But suddenly the cigarette is lit. The lighter didn't work, she's sure, Josie looks at her side and sees that Hope is smiling at her, a soft small smile that could feel like pity, but instead feels like compassion 

Hope lifts a hand and wipes away a tear that trailed down her cheek 

"Being the hero is fucking exhausting"

Josie nods understandably, sees the crushing weight of responsibilities that hung off Hope's shoulders. And feels guilty. God, how she feels guilty 

"I tried to kill you

"I recall" she laughs half-heartedly

"And I killed someone, Hope"

"So did I" Hope replies and her eyes seem lost, looking at the school's grounds, at the dark forest surrounding them "Does that make us monsters? Does that erase the good we've done?"

It doesn't. Of course, Hope is right, most times she is. The bad things can't matter more than the good things, a few mistakes can't erase a life of goodness. But why she feels like she has lost a part of herself? As if she'll never be that Josie again? 

She looked at the damn abysm and really hadn't liked the way it had looked back at her. As if it was snickering at her. Challenging her. Showing her everything she so desperately hid from herself 

In her pocket, her cell phone vibrates. Its Lizzie. She's worried about her, asking where she is. Josie only answers fastly that she's ok and with Hope. She can't manage to talk to her own sister. Sometimes can't even look at her, can't even be in the same room as Lizzie without feeling like she's slowly suffocating. It's as if the foundation of their relationship has been rocked. She hopes it's merely temporary 

"Darkness leaves a mark on us" Hope continues like she's reading Josie's mind "Like a stain. It's always there. You can't underestimate the allure of it or its power"

The siphoner shifts her eyes to the ground. Her legs aren't swaying off of the edge anymore. After Hope sat next to her they became calmer, as if the girl's presence soothed them

"How optimistic"

"You've got the wrong person for that" she chuckles and drinks "I'm more like realistic views and avoided emotions" 

That makes Josie deliver the tiniest smiles. When she looks up she sees that Hope is smiling at her, a warm and gorgeous smile. Josie can't help but copy, unconsciously, like it's contagious, but it feels lacking, so she replaces it with the cigarette. Inhaling and exhaling the smoke

"So what, I'm always gonna feel like this?"

It's a desperate and heartbreaking thought, that makes her chest heavy and unsettles her mind 

Hope looked at her with pleading blue eyes shining in the low light of the moon "Unfortunately, but you can't be blamed for what happened" she then glanced away to the woods again "Just like I can't be blamed for what I've done when the hollow was on me. It's tough, but we manage"

"What was it like?"

Josie heard about it a few times, sometimes just vague mentions by Hope, but most times by her dad, how the girl was possessed by so much dark magic and how big of a danger she was. She overheard once that violence was the outlet for the magic, and that Hope relished on that 

There was even a rumor that she killed a bunch of people in a church, just with a blast of her magic

"Cold" she almost whispers back, voice tick and contained "It was like having someone whispering in my head all the time, and the more time I went without releasing the magic the louder it got"

A gush of air hits them, and Josie shivers. Her limbs are begging for warmth, begging for anything, honestly. Anything other than the cold that swept her insides and left her bare. So she gets closer to Hope, her thighs are touching now, and the girl is so warm, that Josie almost hums in appreciation, she throws the rest of the cigarette away

Josie looks at her, those sad blue eyes harboring so many feelings. And Josie was tired and angry and hurt. She wants to feel better and happy and healed

So she does something potentially stupid: She closes the distance between them, pressing her nicotine-stained lips to Hope's liquor stained ones.

It's soft and new. Just a press of lips, but ignites somewhat of a spark in Josie, that travels through her whole body, it felt good, but also not enough. It took about 10 seconds for Hope to push her away. Eyes wide and mouth slightly open, her cheeks are flushed, but Josie can't be sure if it's because of the cold or the kiss. Josie can probably laugh this off, blame it on the booze, and keep on with their lives, pretending there isn't this unspoken bond, connection, or whatever, between them. She can do it, but she doesn't want to. So she just stares, waiting for her step. She's not backing out on this

A few minutes pass like that, Josie waiting and Hope looking at her with dilated pupils and shaky breaths. She does her best to not gaze away from those deep blue eyes. Josie could feel something pulling them closer as if gravity itself were fueling this moment. The cold was still stinging her, and Josie bites her lip to suppress a shiver. This seemed to finally snap Hope's restraint

Surprisingly, Hope kisses her this time, and it's hard and desperate as if she yearned this for years, her left hand cradling her cheek and holding her neck after, her hands are warm and strong and it made Josie feel safe like she never felt before, it made Josie feel hot and thrumming with something she wouldn't put into words, not yet.

Josie almost moans when she feels Hope's tongue past her lips, she fists the older girl's sweater and pulls her closer, losing herself on the feeling of Hope's hands gripping her hair on a way that blurs the lines between pain and pleasure. She involuntarily rubs her thighs together, trying to calm down the sparks that surged between her legs, blushing a little at the fact that just a kiss was enough to leave her so ready. Her hand squeezes Hope's thigh and she gasps into the kiss, Josie can feel the goosebumps that erupt on her skin

Hope draws away, taking a long and shuddering breath, with eyes still shut "We shouldn't" it comes out in a whisper, disturbing the heaviness of the moment

She backs away, leaving Josie feeling cold all over again

"Why not?"

"Because you're hurt," she asserts as threads her fingers through her hair hastily "Hell! because I'm hurt"

They are, and this is such a bad idea. But now that Josie actually felt Hope's lips, she doesn't want to do anything else. Is it taking advantage of someone vulnerable, if you're just as vulnerable?

"I feel like this is just another reason to do it"

"I feel like you're not thinking straight"

"No, I'm not, Hope" She practically screams, her voice coming out like a whip "I'm fucking angry and done with everyone treating me like I might break at any second. All I can feel right now is guilt and anger, and I'm tired of it"

Hope doesn't seem bothered by her vicious rant, she just sighs and swiftly takes another swing from the bottle. It's almost empty now.

Josie turns fully around, sits facing the girl, and tries to decipher what she's thinking. Hope has her hands on the bottle holding so tightly that her knuckles are turning white. She has small hands, with long fingers adorned with rings and nails a dark shade of red. Josie can't say she never dreamed about those hands holding her, getting lost in her skin, worshiping her. She even had a crush on the girl 

Had? Has? Whatever

Another gust of wind blows through them and Josie remembers where they are and why they are there, her eyes look down, and her thoughts are almost falling down the same depressing path when Hope speaks again

"I just don't want to do something we'll regret or something that could fuck up our friendship"

Josie sighs, she right, again "I know, I just want to feel less..." she trails off, wants to feel less what? cold? guilty? awful?

"I know" 

There they are, like most times, caught in an unsure intersection where friends and lovers meet. It's frustrating and Josie is so done with this uncertainty

"That won't help, won't erase what you're feeling" Hope speaks softly, her brows are furrowed like they always do when she's thinking hard, and Josie wants to believe that she's trying to convince herself 

"How do you know? I want to feel good and loved and safe" 

And I feel that with you! Josie thought, but the words hadn't managed to come out of her mouth 

She's tired, cold, and the thought of going back to her room and burying herself in her bed for the next two to three days seems very appealing right now

So Josie sighs and gets up, feeling her bones complain as she distances herself from Hope

"It's ok" she secures with a shaky voice, rejection stinging on her and turns around, starting to walk towards the door "We're just friends, I get it"

She's close to the door, a hand already going for the handle when she feels a hand on her waist, turning her around and a body pressing her against the cold metal door. Hope's warmth involves her again and makes her wish to never be apart of the girl. Every inch of their body is touching, from their foreheads to their hips, that fit perfectly together, one of Hopes legs are between Josie's, her knee pressing at her core slightly, making her quiver. Their breaths are mingling and Josie's eyes flutter close slowly, goosebumps erupting at the feeling 

"We're not just friends"

Hope says roughly, almost angrily, and kisses her

And maybe it's just what she needs because Hope tastes like forgiveness, understanding and perhaps even love

They stumble hastily through the halls. So entranced on each other that Alaric could find them and they wouldn't care, but thankfully there's no one at the halls and they safely make their way to Hope's, once again, single bedroom

It's the perfect mix between hard and angry, and sweet and caring. As soon as they close the door Hope practically throws her into bed, but tenderly kisses her cheeks, lips, and chin, so softly and laced with such a desire that has Josie moaning her name

Every nerve edge is bleeding with passion, fingers scorching her skin in an all-consuming ferocity and depth, her own hands slowly tracing paths down Hope's neck and sides till the hem of her shirt, pulling it off quickly and sighing at the feeling of the girl's skin beneath her shaking fingers. 

Josie flips them over, her hips straddling the older girl. Hope's hands tangling in the soft strands of her hair was enough to make her bones feel as if they were burning, the tugging sent sparks down Josie's spine. She rolls her hips and they moan together 

"You're so beautiful" Hope proclaims with a raspy voice, thumbs tracing patterns in her hips, she sits and holds her back gently, a hand splayed at her lower back and the other caressing her cheek "So beautiful"

The way she says it, so adoringly like it's the only truth she knows, makes Josie's heart falter a beat and enhance the pulsing, ravenous beat between her legs.

Swiftly Hope is on top again, pinning her against the mattress and looking at her with heavy and lust-filled eyes, but for the rest of the night, Josie doesn't complain or tries to flip them again. The feeling of Hope's weight on top of her was intoxicating enough to leave her breathless and totally overwhelmed, totally at Hope's mercy, totally Hope's for the take

She finds that she doesn't mind one bit, finds that is a damn good way of keeping her mind off dark and gloomy thoughts. Hope's hands, lips, tongue, and fingers working as the perfect distraction 

Just what she needed

**Author's Note:**

> Smoking is bad  
> Will I make a second chapter? No? Maybe?  
> Tell me what you think about it ;)


End file.
